I am in a vortex of obligation.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize