it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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