how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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