Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
