Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
