let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
