Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
