i think my mom watched the whole time
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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