i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize