K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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