Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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