On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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