yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
