I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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