can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Are my feet made of real feet?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We had sex on a dog bed..
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
