it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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