lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you win again, gameday.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
