Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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