walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I need to calm my uterus...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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