But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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