my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
