As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
