I cannot find my penis.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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