There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
