just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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