The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
