I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
