never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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