Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
