There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
And then he peed in my hair
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