My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
