I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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