apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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