i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
