He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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