A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
