At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
