He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
