I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
