To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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