am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
