Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
