I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
