He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
