Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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