I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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