I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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