One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Say something about gay babies.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
