His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
