people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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