Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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