i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
