Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Im part way to drunk.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize