So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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