ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
