still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
