My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
