that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
thus making me awesome and them whores
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
