so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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