I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We are all done wearing pants today
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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